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This is Advocacy
I have been thinking a lot about advocacy. What does it truly mean to fill your life with advocacy? As parents of autistic children, we spend hours upon hours advocating for our children. I often think of it as two sides of a brick wall. On one side, you have all the people you sit across from in different settings. On the other side, you are standing, holding the hand of your child. In this brick wall, one brick is missing. Through the hole, you try to use your words to explain a mountain of concepts you wish others innately understood. As you whisper through the missing brick, the wall…
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No matter how you are managing today, it’s ok
What I have learned
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Five Types of Mom Friends You Need in Your Life, While Parenting an Autistic Child
Making friends as you get older seems more complex and more challenging, which seems funny since we learn so much about who we are as the years go on. When you have child with a disability, it feels like a complete mystery if you will ever find the mom friends that hear you and understand your life. Look for these ladies if possible. The been there done that, mom.She has walked through this life, and her children are older. She tells you that all your feelings are valid and gives you light that comes with time and experience. She also doesn’t judge the hard that you live each day. She…
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Living in a world of opposites
Living in the polar opposites, quiet and loud, lonely and grateful, small and large, present and searching. Today we celebrated Easter, it was a nice day. The kids explored their Easter baskets we took photos and watched each minute of excitement. I thought of my family and how many holidays have passed since we have been together. I thought of the massive amounts of growth both our children have had over the last year. As I watched my daughter wiggle out of her clothes for the 100th time, I thought about how spectacular her motor skills are. As Nixon named off the items in his basket, I thought about how…
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Heartbroken at the airport, medical exemptions are they still a thing?
On St.Partick’s Day, I got up at 3:00 a.m. had our bags packed the night before, ready for a trip with my baby girl to visit family in Montana. I filled a carry-on bag with new toys, snacks, hand sanitizer, charged headphones, and of course, our masks. That morning I woke up our two-year-old Nora, she meet me with a doe eyed look but was in good spirits. I changed her into a cute black shirt with toile on the bottom and slipped on a black hoodie paired with my favorite black chucks. We made the hour drive to the Mesa Gateway Airport. I unbuckled her car seat, slipped it…
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Love comes in many forms, her choice to love me
What is love, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” Love comes in many forms. As a child, we think of the soft, tender love that sits amongst family. As an adolescent, we think of our rich friendships that are filled with late-night talks. As adults, we think of our romantic relationships that form foundations of growth, beauty, and struggle. The choice to love not found in common ties of biology is where I often land when thinking about love. I found pieces of myself in each person who has shown me love and understanding. The person that I think of most often holds the title Mom, Ann, also…
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To the special needs parents who came before us.
When we roll into a new year in January or minds can drift to looking back at our choices over the last year and our goals for change in the new year. There is no doubt that 2020 will forever be one of the years we all can reflect on. In 2020 we became special needs parents and discovered both our children carried the medical diagnosis, autism spectrum disorder. When our children are diagnosed, we often hear that the words in no way changed who they are. The words on the paper provided a road to services and support they need. The words are only one small part of who…
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I have learned to appreciate, in our unique parenting journey, to soak in the rare and swift moments when things feel the way I imagined parenting would
Earlier this week, Nixon woke up around 5:00 a.m. crying. As I picked him up out of his bed, his long legs were freezing. The temperature in Phoenix has dropped, and he loves to sleep with just an overnight pull-up. He has four blankets on his bed but usually ends up sleeping on top of them. I carried him into our room, and he snuggled under the covers. This has happened a handful of times since he was a baby. Once he is awake, he does not go back to sleep. But this morning, he snuggled in, put his head in my arms, and went back to sleep. I felt…
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This week he made a friend
As a child, I often felt lonely. Strange since I grew up in a household of people. Not lonely in the way that I wished others where around, in a way where I wished there wasn’t so much underlying explanation needed about my life. I kept the door to those questions closed as much as possible. Still, when I break down my connections to the people closest to me often, people require a chart of some kind. I learned to use terms where people won’t ask too many questions and only open up my history when I become close to someone. I have had many meaningful and life long friendships.…
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Communication Success
Autism can be spectacular. When we climb a mountain of prompts, hand over hand instruction, small tiny moments of connection, then in an instant, a light switch, and we have success. When I think of Nixon’s success, I like to think of it as an astronaut who had trained for months and months to walk into a rocket ship. The rocket ship might not launch, but we are all watching waiting to see as we hear a quiet countdown. When our son was starting to talk, we couldn’t understand a lot of what he was trying to communicate. He didn’t speak much until he was about 3 1/2, which caused…