Parenting
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This is Advocacy
I have been thinking a lot about advocacy. What does it truly mean to fill your life with advocacy? As parents of autistic children, we spend hours upon hours advocating for our children. I often think of it as two sides of a brick wall. On one side, you have all the people you sit across from in different settings. On the other side, you are standing, holding the hand of your child. In this brick wall, one brick is missing. Through the hole, you try to use your words to explain a mountain of concepts you wish others innately understood. As you whisper through the missing brick, the wall…
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Five Types of Mom Friends You Need in Your Life, While Parenting an Autistic Child
Making friends as you get older seems more complex and more challenging, which seems funny since we learn so much about who we are as the years go on. When you have child with a disability, it feels like a complete mystery if you will ever find the mom friends that hear you and understand your life. Look for these ladies if possible. The been there done that, mom.She has walked through this life, and her children are older. She tells you that all your feelings are valid and gives you light that comes with time and experience. She also doesn’t judge the hard that you live each day. She…
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Living in a world of opposites
Living in the polar opposites, quiet and loud, lonely and grateful, small and large, present and searching. Today we celebrated Easter, it was a nice day. The kids explored their Easter baskets we took photos and watched each minute of excitement. I thought of my family and how many holidays have passed since we have been together. I thought of the massive amounts of growth both our children have had over the last year. As I watched my daughter wiggle out of her clothes for the 100th time, I thought about how spectacular her motor skills are. As Nixon named off the items in his basket, I thought about how…
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The way to find hope is to connect
I often think about what impact others have on my well-being and state of mind. I struggle with the open sharing of our life with others around us at times for fear of judgment. I have found comfort in the fact that others have shared their story with me and a deep connection out of small understandings of what others go through each day. I want our children to have empathy for others and an open mind to learn as much as possible about different viewpoints. Not to agree with what is pushed on them about the world, but when we have compassion for others, we can live a deeper,…
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Five things every special needs parent should hear
Are you walking into a new world of special needs parenting for the first time? Are you a few years in and finding things hard to manage right now? Or are you the parent who has walked this path and is now looking ahead at what services are there for your child’s future? Here are some gems of advice that I have received from others who have walked this path alongside me, before me, and some of my own. Advocacy can come in many forms. If you are the loud and proud mama or papa bear walking into an IEP meeting or evaluation asking all the questions and expecting answers…
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Love comes in many forms, her choice to love me
What is love, “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” Love comes in many forms. As a child, we think of the soft, tender love that sits amongst family. As an adolescent, we think of our rich friendships that are filled with late-night talks. As adults, we think of our romantic relationships that form foundations of growth, beauty, and struggle. The choice to love not found in common ties of biology is where I often land when thinking about love. I found pieces of myself in each person who has shown me love and understanding. The person that I think of most often holds the title Mom, Ann, also…
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It’s ok if your wait is a little louder than ours.
Our son has been asking every couple of days to go to our local train park. We venture out rarely these days due to the risk in our state. This weekend the weather was beautiful, and we decided to take both kids. We went to the ticket counter in the gift shop and bought our tickets. Nixon watched as another boy, around two, touched the trains in the package. Nixon carefully picked a couple up and lined them back up in their place. I was holding Nora in my arms, and she was watching the couple in front of us. Nick bought our tickets, and we headed out the double…
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To the special needs parents who came before us.
When we roll into a new year in January or minds can drift to looking back at our choices over the last year and our goals for change in the new year. There is no doubt that 2020 will forever be one of the years we all can reflect on. In 2020 we became special needs parents and discovered both our children carried the medical diagnosis, autism spectrum disorder. When our children are diagnosed, we often hear that the words in no way changed who they are. The words on the paper provided a road to services and support they need. The words are only one small part of who…
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Autism Spectrum Disorder lives close to the spark.
When a person walks through a hard experience filled with overflowing emotions we often turn to the philosophies of the world. What are we doing here? What is the meaning of all of this? And sometimes crawling into the dark pit of why me? We sat down to watch the new Pixar movie “Soul” this weekend. The characters in the movie discussed the very complex concept of how do you find your spark in this world. I thought as we watch the character catch a tiny leaf falling off of a tree how I have watched my son have that exact moment over and over. And how often the beauty…
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Our shining star baby girl, would we be special needs parents for a second time?
Tuesday night, December 15, I sat with our beautiful daughter and read her a book before bed. As I started to read, the tears hit my cheek. I snuggled our last baby, our little girl, a little closer. I choked through each word of the book. Her in her two piece pajamas, listening to the children’s story, soaking up the tears falling from my check. She snuggled in, not noticing the tears or my shaky voice. I knew what we were facing the next day, looming in the air a second diagnosis day. This tiny baby had already given me so much. Nora was born into a mountain of worry.…
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