This week he made a friend

As a child, I often felt lonely. Strange since I grew up in a household of people.

Not lonely in the way that I wished others where around, in a way where I wished there wasn’t so much underlying explanation needed about my life.

I kept the door to those questions closed as much as possible.

Still, when I break down my connections to the people closest to me often, people require a chart of some kind.

I learned to use terms where people won’t ask too many questions and only open up my history when I become close to someone. I have had many meaningful and life long friendships.

I am talking about the loneliness that comes in fleeting moments, the I wish I had moments.

As children, we walk through our life experience without a guide. We present ourselves to the world with what the world has provided to us.

As an adult, I can understand that my experiences have shaped me. These experiences have brought me here, with all the struggle, all the love, and grit that helps carry my family.

Mother’s worry. It’s what we do. I worried that our son would too feel lonely and that he would struggle to connect to others.

That he would feel a weight of details he didn’t want to share in a casual conversation. That he would keep a distance from others because of his deeper feelings.

This week he made a friend.

My heart was so full when I heard he was playing hide and seek with another boy, that they talked dinosaurs, and at this moment in time, he made a friend.

I need to remember that my pain is not his, that my fears are not his to carry, and that our social butterfly will chart his own path.

© 2020, Tabitha Cabrera. All rights reserved.