This is Advocacy - Peace of Autism

I have been thinking a lot about advocacy. What does it truly mean to fill your life with advocacy?

As parents of autistic children, we spend hours upon hours advocating for our children. I often think of it as two sides of a brick wall. On one side, you have all the people you sit across from in different settings. On the other side, you are standing, holding the hand of your child. In this brick wall, one brick is missing. Through the hole, you try to use your words to explain a mountain of concepts you wish others innately understood. As you whisper through the missing brick, the wall begins to lean in your direction, and you use your other hand to hold it up.

This is what advocacy can feel like. The hand in yours, the hand of your child, is what gives you the strength to continue to brace yourself against the wall as it leans.

We often hope for a parade of understanding. Where the system meets our children in the perfect symphony of celebration. We want all people to look at our kids as individuals, to try and understand them just as they are.

The brick wall can feel heavy and cold, and at times you might be unable to continue to whisper as you hold it.

Advocacy can mean many different things. It is not born into us. We learn as we go and continue to shout from the rooftops to get our kids what they need.

If you want to meet parents where they are, come to the other side of the wall. Share in the load by meeting our kids and us where we are today. If you see a system that needs to be changed, try and make a small change for us all. Look at us as if we know our child best. Understand that emotions may be on the surface and help us when we can’t necessarily find the words.

Help us hold the wall when it becomes too heavy to bear. This is advocacy.