Autism Spectrum Disorder lives close to the spark.

When a person walks through a hard experience filled with overflowing emotions we often turn to the philosophies of the world. What are we doing here? What is the meaning of all of this? And sometimes crawling into the dark pit of why me? 

We sat down to watch the new Pixar movie “Soul” this weekend. The characters in the movie discussed the very complex concept of how do you find your spark in this world. I thought as we watch the character catch a tiny leaf falling off of a tree how I have watched my son have that exact moment over and over. And how often the beauty of autism can catch you off guard. 

It is absolutely fascinating watching both of my children play with a simple box of tea from the kitchen as they examine each individual package, how the tea bags fit back into the box, pressing the package up to their face to smell and touch the tea bag hidden behind the paper holding it in. They look at the brightly colored letters on each package and press their tiny fingers on the words as if to feel the color. 

They play with each other by opening each of the drawers in the kitchen to line them up perfectly, our daughter looking from underneath to make sure they are all open all the way, our son pressing his face close to the drawers to look from the side to make sure they are perfectly open. He will run his face along the edge of the drawer to feel the wood on his cheek. Then just as fast as the exploration started they close the drawers, and both move on to the next adventure for the day.

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Our children have the ability to shut out the world and be present with a small item with a sense of closeness that the rest of us miss. To feel the wind on their face as if it is the first time every time. To take in sounds with such a magnification that their bodies almost can’t contain the sound. To look underwater at a toy over and over as if tracking how it changes each time. 

Maybe part of them, autism spectrum disorder, a title given by medical professionals gives them the ability to find their spark each day easier, something as we move through life we often lose.

Small neurotypical children carry this wondering and exploration. Sensory play, eating things they shouldn’t to feel the item in their cheek, getting dirty without a care for how they look. 

As we grow into adults our exploration of the world is silenced by the impressions of the world of who we are and how we should be. 

I like to think that my children live life right next to this spark, that as I search for the true meaning of what are we doing here, I can watch my children and they will show me what it is all about.

To feel, breathe, touch, watch and examine the world as if you are the only one in it. To shut out the thoughts and be present with what is in front of you. To magnify the world around you so you can feel what this world is about. 

They teach me so much about who they are each day and also about who I am. How can you not learn as the world slows down and becomes still? Their spark is clear they are holding it, touching it, and showing it every day.

© 2021, Tabitha Cabrera. All rights reserved.